Those who are great at anything do the fundamentals well, and without apparent effort. Whether it’s a musician or a baseball player, they seem to be able to perform without focusing on all the individual actions that comprise their task. A great golfer knows to not think about the mechanics of the swing on the course, trusting that he/she has already grooved in the right mechanics. Instead, the focus of the top pros is the shot at hand, all the decision making at the moment  is on where and how to move the ball towards the hole, not whether his left knee bends in the right direction, at the right moment.

So, if we claim to be ‘sales pros’, what then are our fundamentals and how should we practice them? Let’s focus on one, building rapport.  In my career, I often found myself interacting with large numbers of people within a given sales campaign, sometimes including folks outside of my company and the client’s firm. Many of these interactions are short and pointed, but they can make or break you. Being able to quickly put people at ease and establish some kind of connection is critical, and at times you may only have  a couple of minutes to do so. Granted, most decisions are advanced by a small number of key people, but there are usually a cast of characters around them who can help or hurt your cause. Being able to make the most out of whatever interactions you have with every individual you meet in a client’s business is crucial to success. This is particularly true if you are up against an incumbent who knows the existing account well. You’ll need to make sure as many of the folks who know the existing supplier as possible get to know you, so you should be ready at a moments notice to draw on these skills. Also, it goes without saying hopefully, that quick rapport building is crucial to prospecting, in fact, I think it is the crucial difference between successful and unsuccessful prospecting.

Let’s start with a definition(from Wikipedia):

Rapport is one of the most important features or characteristics of unconscious human interaction. It is commonality of perspective: being “in sync” with, or being “on the same wavelength” as the person with whom you are talking.

I like that definition, how about you? Because if you do, know then that you have signed up to be able to do something pretty significant and difficult to quantify. Look at the definition, it’s both emotional and intellectual, you know when you’ve established it, but can you really say what does it? I can’t. I put it in the category of things our “lizard brain”  handles for us. That is the reactive, intuitive part of our psyche that is very primitive and very powerful. I view it from a tactical perspective as a “negative gate” – that being a point in the sales process from which you can be stopped, but getting through it only allows you to continue, it doesn’t really buy you anything substantive. Call it a necessary, but insufficient condition, in other words it needs to be present but accompanied by other accomplishments with a person in order for them to become supportive of your sales campaign.

So what could you do to establish rapport quickly with someone? Here are a few tips:

1. Body language – It is said that 70% of all communication is non-verbal. Body language makes up for a large percent of that 70% for sure, although there are other things like tone of voice, appearance, attractiveness etc. that are in play too. The first thing to do is notice your prospects body language. Are they leaning forward or backwards? Where are their hands? Do they seem tense or relaxed? The secret in the rapport building phase, which commences instantly once you meet someone personally, is to initially mirror them. Don’t lean in if they’re not. Sit erect if they do, slouch a little if they do. You’ll immediately notice that you already do this unconsciously. If you get really good, you’ll also notice that you react in your own way subconsciously to their body language, not mirroring, which in the first seconds of an interaction is the surest way to help your connection along. I’ve found that by simply noticing all this, you will key in to what you should be doing and what’s going on with the prospect without much struggle. In some ways, you own “lizard brain” is your best friend here, and you will find this isn’t hard to do at all. Also, it’s very much an ‘in the moment’ kind of thing, so just stay in the game, even if you don’t sense the connection occurring. Keep up the body language mirroring until a connection is established.

2. Eye contact – Look people in the eye when you speak. They will look back and without a word being spoken in some situations, you can establish rapport instantly just by visually connecting.

3. Speech mirroring – How quickly do they speak? How loud? What is their pattern of give and take in the conversation? Go along with the pace set by your prospect and they will quickly become more comfortable.

4. Be personal – I think many salespeople (including me in my early days) are too formal with clients, particularly senior executives. Look for any opening to mention something about your kids, what school you went to, previous employer or how the wind whips between their buildings like a little Scirocco – I’m not kidding, say something about something. If offered a coffee, I always take it. This is a personal courtesy that helps them feel good about welcoming you. You can comment on your weakness for half-and-half or the new grinder you just purchased. Be careful here, you need to know when to do this and again, the only real advice I can give you is to look for the opportunity and it will show up. Don’t force it, don’t worry about it – just look for it. Also, don’t carry on too long – this is not the beginning of the next great relationship in either of your lives, it’s just about establishing rapport. Your communication and tactics will change once you’ve established yourself with this prospect but you cannot do so without establishing rapport first.

5. Ask open ended questions – Start this very soon into the interaction, but make them relevant. It could be something about their company, role, project, previous employer, anything. If possible, I try to keep them to business topics in this very early stage, because this is a context that most business people will share more freely about before you’ve established rapport.

6. Listen – Really, just listen to them. Don’t rush headlong into your pitch, or be waiting for them to finish so you can say what you want to say. Really listen to them. Be empathetic, don’t be busy taking notes while they are talking (at first), rather just listen. Continue with eye contact while they speak. Egg them on, responding with, “why? “wow, what was that like”, “jeez, how did that work out?” Ask short but pointed questions if you really have them, but otherwise just listen. Some folks will just spill their guts immediately, it’s kind of amazing. They will only grant you rapport once they have started talking though, so you’ll know that once they’ve started opening up, you usually are already there. Again, keep paying attention to their body language, tone of voice and the like – you will find all this very intuitive.

So, if establishing rapport is so fundamental, how much do you work on it? Do you work on it at all? The good news is that we meet new people all the time and can choose to try and establish rapport with them.  It’s actually a lot of fun, and you’ll find you can connect with people very quickly, be that person who is “never without a friend” because you are always making new acquaintances. The grocery store, the restaurant, the soccer field on the weekend, the airport – see how quickly you can connect with a TSA person? These are your training grounds. You’ll find developing these skills highly rewarding because you will relish meeting new people and connecting with them, you won’t be tense about how a meeting is going to go. You’ll know that if things seem a little off or the prospect just seems to not be there with you, that you can drop back and do the basics to establish rapport with them. It will become second nature after a while. In my career,after a while,  I only noticed it when someone else wasn’t doing it. Many times someone who accompanied me to a meeting would be clearly operating from a different context, not connecting first, and I would be surprised. Many times, you’ll find many non-sales (and some sales people) have no conscious template for establishing rapport. That’s called winging it, and you won’t see any professionals doing that.